MAN CRUSH MONDAY: Julian Casablancas

With the name of a leading man in a Mexican telenovela, sad hazel eyes that could melt any girls heart, a pretentious smirk and voice as deep as the darkest parts of your mind, Julian Casablancas is frontman to legendary indie rock band The Strokes. Along with being one of the coolest "I don't give a fuck" kind of guys around and the quintessential rocker of his generation, Jules, as most refer to him, has got to be one finest pieces of ass around.

Born and raised in New York city, It's no surprise that he has such good looks. His mother was a former model and onetime Miss Denmark and his father originally from spain was founder and former president of elite model management. The beauty is in his genes! Though he did have a wealthy upbringing as well, he acquired a taste of vintage clothing at a young age which he stills carries around with him, looking more as a cool poor boy straight out of a thrift store instead of the poster rich child that he is and for that he gains my heart and many panties thrown on stage.

Though he's gain a couple pounds and looks a little bit more beat up than he usually does, it doesn't matter because that is the essence of his look, the essence of Julian. Even if the years go buy and he ends up as 40 year old Mick Jagger, that won't matter because the sex appeal will always be there. With dark lyrics and a voice like his, who wouldn't want to rip their heart out and put it on a silver platter just for him.

But ladies, do not get overwhelmed and buy the first ticket to New York you can find in search of your new found love for Mr.Casablancas! He Is happily married (or so they say) and has been for 8 years with former Strokes assistant manager Juliet Joslin and have a 3 year old son named Cal. Who knows though, maybe that bad ass attitude gets the best of him sometimes, you might just get lucky and win a pass with him backstage.

It's safe to say that when you combine attitude and some manly looks girls will bow down at your feet and that is what jules is all about. A little bit of an ego never hurt anyone specially when it comes down to julian. No matter how pretentious his ways are girls will always be at the mercy of Mr.Casablancas, including myself. 

YOUNG AND BROKE: What you wished you had known about LIFE.

When you were 3 you wanted to be 6, when you where six you wanted to be 12, when you were 12 you wanted to be 14, but once you reached that point all you wanted to be was an ADULT. You thought that reaching the point of maturity would become a free for all where you could come and go as you pleased and have absolutely no one tell you what to do. The awful truth is that you were wrong and no one cared to warn you. What you once thought would be the adventure of a lifetime filled with countless shenanigans became the crossroads of life where there was no turning back. Once college is over THE PARTY IS OVER. Welcome to what I like to call the limbo of life, where you are always in the middle. What happened to the spark of it all? the truth is no one really knows, now you wish to take it all back. Here is the list of 6 things we all looked forward to, but really didn't know shit about. Let this also be a warning to the kids and their wishful thinking.

1. Alcohol: Oh so you thought drinking was fun? Prancing around like a complete idiot after ONE bottle of guinness is not the definition of drunk. Before, you thought it was cool to update your profile pic of an underage YOU with a sealed bottle of vodka. Well you had no idea what was coming your way. Being drunk once you've reached your twenties becomes less of a recreational activity, but more of an acquired taste. You become a real adult when you start drinking over problems and not because you're trying to draw attention from the crowd. No one cared to warn you in advance of the troubles alcohol had in store for you like empty pockets, tomfoolery, one night stands, girl on girl action, lost valuables and yes the most dreadful of them all THE HANGOVER.  Looking back at it now, it doesn't seem so great after all.
2. Money: The troubles of your mother not wanting to buy you a car or shoes don't get better in fact, they only get worse. Becoming an adult doesn't mean money is going to rain on you like a hoe in a rap video, it only means that you are going to have a shitload of bills to pay. Not only do you have to work for it but you have to earn it and if finding a job that payed you minimum wage wasn't hard enough, you have to learn to manage it in the most RESPONSIBLE way, but lets be honest that is never going to happen.
3. Living on your own: Of course living alone has its perks. Parties, wild nights, no bedtimes, no coming back home and so on, but as life goes on and you sink in deeper in the hell hole of life, the misery of being on your own can eat you up. sometimes a good friend and a bottle of wine (maybe even two) wont cut it and as hard as it is to admit you are ALWAYS going to need family by your side.
4. Relationships: Truth is you will never learn from them. they will make you or break you becoming an emotional roller coaster where you are bound to get hurt. Try not to die in the attempt of not dying alone. So if you are looking for the love of your life chances at a bar chances are that they might break your heart. Think twice before sharing your life with someone else.
5. College: It all becomes fun at games at first, but as you get deeper into the subject matter of "is this really what I want to do with my life?" things get a little hairier. Encountering professors that will tell you that you are worthless and even those that want to get a little action after class, college is one of life's most difficult milestones. All I have to say about this one is stay there, study hard and never get out. If you thought that life was hard enough trying to pay your college tuition and studying for midterms, the best is yet to come. Graduating does not mean they hand you a key to your dream job, but more of steady battle of looking for jobs on craigslist that you are either over or under qualified for.
6. Sex: To be honest, sex is nothing but a tale of high expectations that you are never going to reach. The sad part is that it only make things more complicated as your unsatisfied frustration gets the best of you. It's just something in life that everyone has to do, a milestone to say the least. overrated yet underestimated. 

don't we all wish we could go back to the good old days?

something to chew on: concert review

The killers: Battle Born tour

Alpharetta, GA 8/15/2013

To many it's no secret that the Vegas native band THE KILLERS are  known for their over the top performances, but who could blame them? Wouldn't the fact that they are from sin city have something to do with this? Showmanship is in their blood and with that comes a passionate fire that hits you like a raging bull as you watch Brandon Flowers pour his heart and soul out of his lungs, Ronnie Vannucci play the drums with force of a lightning bolt, Dave Keuning embark on epic guitar solos as if he was the long lost child of Robert Plant and finally Mark Stoermer, the gentle giant, let him self go in his powerful bass lines. If you are to go to one of their shows you are sure to have your mind blown. Confetti, Lasers, powerful Sing alongs, fireworks and even a little bit of a mosh pit that is what you are in for. This show  is not for the faint of heart. The georgia show has been said to have been one of their best shows on this final leg of their US Battle Born tour. With a crowd of almost 7000 people and an array of fans crying their hearts out to beautiful sing alongs like that of "All these things that I've done" and "When you were young" I put myself in an emotional roller coaster that you are bound to ride if you attend one of their upcoming shows.
It started out with a kiss as all four appear on stage to the beat of Eminence front by The Who. A very clean cut Flowers wearing his famous leather moto jacket and all in black in his Americana 50's style. Same goes for Ronnie, Dave and mark all in black and a minimalistic look. As soon as they hit the stage no further introductions are made just a couple of waves and they cut to the chase going on to play their hit Mr.Brightside. The crowd goes wild as they jump around to the rythm of the 2004 single. As soon as that is over They proceed to a small and brief introduction of themselves quickly moving on to the heart pounding spaceman and pumping the crowd up for whats to come in the next 2 hours.

Things cool down after the first two songs as they move on to The way it was and Smile like you mean it. Brandon sings the line "change your ways while you're young" as he points to a young man in the crowd ironically smoking a joint. Coincidence? I think not. 

A small part of Human is played acoustically on the piano by Flowers then once again the crowd gets fired up as they move on to Bling and Shadowplay, Their joy division cover featured in Sawdust. Once there a holographic laser show beyond your wildest dreams begins. It went from a killers concert to a full on rave in a matter of seconds. Truly worthy of the song and their fans pennies. Something that will leave you speechless and that you will want to repeat over and over again.

Things take another turn for the unexpected as they go on to Miss Atomic Bomb. That is where the pyro starts and the smoke goes off leaving you startled yet full of an unbearable excitement that you wished never ended. Afterwards they go on to play Human and one of their classics Somebody told me.

Once again things cool down, most likely to prevent the heart attacks of screaming fangirls. Be still Is next. A soft and melodic song that brandon wrote for his son. Continued by the very popular For reasons unknown. The one and only song where flowers plays something other than the piano or synth. As He grabs his black and white fender bass, Mark Stoermer quickly switches to second guitar. moving on to From here on out, a western themed tune from Battle born, where the crowd goes insane  as brandon proceeds to this next statement "It's a thursday night here in georgia but it seems like a saturday night." 

Moving on to Dustland Fairytale (Flowers's favorite masterpiece) and to a crowd favorite, Read my mind. They move on to one of their latest singles Runaways, finally going on to play All these things that I've done (a personal favorite) a song that is sure to leave a cathartic effect as you chant "I got soul, but i'm not a soldier" There is no larger moment in the night than this one, definitely a crowd favorite as everyone is sure to sing along, but the most epic part begins when the confetti canons blast full force into the fans leaving a rain of bolts and k's above them that make a great memento afterwards.

The killers leave the stage for a brief moment only to come back with a surprise. They are accompanied by The virgins (their opening band) to perform a cover of Neil Young's Albuquerque. It's a heart felt moment that ends with hugs and handshakes from all band members. They move to Jenny was a friend of mine, a classic of their so called murder trilogy. Finally left to perform Battle Born. Filled with once again pyro and smoke, it leaves you speechless as flowers does the next thing. He goes on to introduce all band members including the touring musicians (Ted Sablay and Jake Blanton) who go on to perform a solo with their instruments, but the best is yet to come. As one thinks the  song is over Flower's walks to the left edge of the stage and proceeds to put his wedding ring in his pocket then he suddenly walks off and down to the barrier. Accompanied by a set of 3 bodyguards who hold hem back, he walks across the barrier shaking his "victims" hands as he is groped and basically pulled apart by everyone. He quickly gets back on stage after the massive amount of hands that were laid on him. Once again he cuts to the chase, as if he was used to these kinds of situations, and goes on to ask the crowd if something was missing. "I feel like something is missing, do you know what it is?" Suddenly you are struck by the power chords of When you were young where the crowd goes in a frenzy of joy. That quickly becomes a goodbye with all members and musicians moving forward to the stage, bowing and saying their final words to their fans and Ronnie Vannucci throwing about 4 drumsticks into the crowd. Just like that in the blink of an eye the concert was over, leaving a memorable moment in the heart of all of its spectators.

So if yo have not had the pleasure to attend a Killers show, I strongly suggest that you do now, it'll be the experience of a lifetime! Though they only have 3 North America dates left (Canada, Missouri and Las Vegas) Then several Asia and Middle East shows, if it's not the Battle Born tour that you get to see there is always a next time, with rumors of a new album dropping in by 2014. 

Below a link to upcoming tour dates:

http://www.thekillersmusic.com/showtime

See more pics of the atlanta show on my instagram, link below as well:

http://instagram.com/__readmymind

YOUNG AND BROKE: 50 shades of things I don't understand. (PART 2)

I present to you the second part of my dissatisfaction towards life's WTF moments and my constant thoughts on why being in your twenties is so damn hard. A cornucopia of the conjurings of my strange mind (and yours).

1. Sex: A necessity in every young adults life yet it turns into a sort of milestone similar to that of your first kiss or your first day of high school when you realize it's never good enough.
2. When did Hannah Montana turn into Miley Cyrus?
3. Not being able to have the self confidence to withstand a one  night stand.
4. You are NEVER going to be famous.
5. The constant need to look at cat videos on youtube.
6. I wonder what my future husband/wife is doing right now?
7. How come the guys that hit on me at the bar, are NOT the ones  that I WANT to hit on me.
8. Though commitment scares the shit out of me and might ruin my plans for the next 10 years, I still don't understand why I WANT IT SO BAD!
9. All I wanted is to finish high school now i would cut my left tit just to go back.
10. My constant need to apologize to people when I don't give a fuck about them.
11. You are always, ALWAYS, going to get hurt.
12. Unable to poop in public restrooms.
13. The fear of having my job become an actual CAREER.
14. When did i suddenly become a college drop-out TWICE.
15. Overly positive people.
16. Constant Unsatisfaction towards everything I thought would make me happy 5 years ago.
17. Telling myself every picture of someone beautiful is photoshopped to make myself feel better.
18. Constantly spending money I don't have yet I still have nothing to wear.
19. Am I ever going to fall in love? 
20. Parents constantly misunderstanding how old you are and making sure of everything you did from the point you wake up to when you are tucked in bed
21. You've seen  every episode of Portlandia on Netflix yet you still don't understand what the fuck the are talking about.
22. AUTOCORRECT.
23. How nothing ever feels as good and simple as a childhood accomplishment.
24. How bad lighting at a bar will determine if you get laid or not.
25. What is life? I have no fucking idea.

something to chew on: HAIM

HAIM

sister power at it's finest

The sister trio originally from LA has devoured the music scene and has brought back new hope to Rock 'n' Roll like The white Stripes or The Strokes once did in the early 2000's. With a unique sound compared to that of Fleetwood mac and yes even TLC, Este, Danielle and Alana Haim bring something completely new to the table with their electronic, R&B and "Nu-folk" sound. In a world where the airwaves are flooded with Justin bieber-esque artist and prepubescent relating boy band such as One direction, Haim has brought back new hope to their generation telling them everything's not lost in the industry.

Do not be fooled by the fact that they are quite young and barely into their twenties. The three grew up surrounded by music and even having a family band called "Rockinhaim" and equipped with their own studio in the comfort of their living room. No wonder they grew up to be suck talented musicians. All three sisters proficient at more than one and that equals to one hell of a trio  and some kick ass songs.

With a bright musical career ahead of them and a camaraderie of fans behind them, we are sure to watch them grow right in front of our eyes with a potential that will make them one of the biggest artist to come out of our generation. It's hard to believe that they are yet to debut an album. This due to extensive gigging since they first formed as a band in 2007. That is of course until september 27 of this year when their much anticipated "Days are gone", produced by Ariel Rechtshaid (Vampire Weekend)and James Ford (Artic Monkeys, Florence and The Machine), is finally released. With only EP's to their name and a handful of edgy, catchy and heartfelt songs like their hit single "Falling", Why is it that Haim has taken the world by storm one continent at a time? Well, the answer is simple: Originality and true talent can come a long way in the world we live in. Thank you ladies for bringing  back hope to the world of music and bringing back the fire within Rock. Your kind is few.

CHECK OUT HAIM'S LATEST SINGLE "THE WIRE" ON THE LINK BELOW!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1Vh0iP5BziQ

The fashion statement: JUJU JELLIES

Though jellies have been around for a while and are constantly making 90's babies reminisce of their overall wearing past, it is no secret they are coming back. They might not be everyones cup of tea, but wear them once and you will not want to take them off. With a very basic and minimalistic design, yet aiming towards the eccentric souls, jellies are trending all across the globe and are becoming eye candy for fashion magazines and a necessity in every girls closet.

You are sure to catch everyones attention with these little ones. With an array of different colors and designs there is something for everyone. Wether sticking to their original and most classic design which is the JUJU BABE (as shown above)or their newest styles like the JUJU VICKY which is a summer MUST, or their JUJU PETRA for a more springy look, you cant't go wrong with any of them! Though the Juju babes might make your feet a little sweaty at first, pair them up with a pair of kick ass socks and problem solved, you can even wear them during fall or winter with this combination. I promise you wont be disappointed with this iconic british creation and blast from the past.

Make sure to check out their website as well:
http://www.jujushoes.co.uk/juju.aspx

YOUNG AND BROKE: 50 shades of things I don't understand. (PART 1)

There are certain things in life I am yet to comprehend. The fact of something leaving a big WTF inside my head no longer amuses me  yet leaves me hanging on a noose that I call life. So without further adieu, I present to you the question marks behind my so called irony and why I am yet to understand them. This is the list of my personal and most likely every young adults wtf moments.

1.  Towels: why is it that we wash them, I mean if we are clean right after our showers why can't we just let them be? Im just wasting money that I could use on very much needed BOOZE, on going to the cleaners.
2. Im 21 and I am still breaking out everywhere. Wasn't acne supposed to stop right after puberty?
3. Cellulite. Need I say more?
4. How come living with my parents has become such a drag? The home cooked meals and clean sheets lost it's charm after the first two weeks.
5. Instagram posts of every meal people eat like a give 2 fucks.
6. THE BIG ONE! why is college so goddam necessary!?
7. Not being able to go a single day without caffeine. Life without it would be unbearable.
8. My love for the smell of gasoline.
9. Every girl having a bigger tit than the other one.
10. Skyping with my best friends abroad starts off with laughter and ends in us drowning in our tears because of how shitty our lives are without each other.
11. WORK. Ain't nobody got time for that.
12. Cut 4 Bieber!... Are you fucking serious!?
13. PMS: Making me want to stab everyones eyes with an icicle since 2003.
14. My constant attraction to bearded and homeless looking men.
15. MY EX...Pretty self explanatory.
16. Facebook hashtags. If I make my profile private it means I DON'T WANT THE REST OF THE FUCKING WORLD TO SEE IT! 
17. That stupid smirk on every college grads face. What's so fucking great about school anyway?
18. Big booty/small titties, big titties/small booty
19. Ryan gosling why you so sexy?
20. not learning from my repetitive mistakes like my constant need of getting my heart broken by the same guy, thus I have managed to no longer have a heart.
21. Craigslist creeps and their constant adds about looking for a personal muse preferably asian.
22. Happy people. Are they actually happy or are they just better at pretending?
23. 2000 facebook friends and only know 24 of them.
24. Twitter is pointless.
25. Where the fuck is life taking me now?

Subject of the matter: TWERKING

Being the mating call of horny prepubescent girls, Twerking has swept the globe with it's unique style of showing everyone what a slut you can be while drunk (or not). Though teenage  girls might not understand that their crushes inability to grow facial hair determines the fact of how good they will be in bed, why is it that it's not only them who are embracing Twerking but just about everyone. While the phrase "Dry humping air" does not sound very appealing, well, that is all this so called dance is. A desperate cry to get the opposite (and not so opposite) sex's attention, while looking like a total prostitute all at the same time. 

WHAT I THINK I LOOK LIKE WHILE TWERKING:

WHAT I REALLY LOOK LIKE WHILE TWERKING:

Though the dance has been around since the early 90's, it all blew out of proportion when Miley Cyrus posted that stupid video of herself doing the infamous Twerk in a onesie, yes ONESIE, but why is it that people decide to put themselves in such a ridiculous position (literally)in order to get the wrong attention. I am no one to judge your reasoning, but please if you do decide to prance around like a low class stripper, please make sure you don't do it at family gatherings, Bar Mitzvahs, the old folks home and yes my favorite one SCHOOL. So if you don't want to be on the path of teenage pregnancy or even someones next booty call, I suggest you dont do it at all.

Though fun to do while while drunk with your closest friends and maybe, just maybe while in your room trying to get a good workout, Twerking is not going to make your crush want to marry you instantly, but most likely want to fuck you and never see your face again. Sorry to break it to you, but these are the facts of life, the awful truth to say the least. So if you're doing it to be funny and have a blast with your friends, go ahead and Twerk your ass off, but if  you are trying to get everyones attention and finding ecstasy on being a complete slut and are bombarding the internet with your dry humping vines well then you must be dumb as fuck to not realize where this is going to get you. 

Since when is "shaking your ass in a sexual manner" synonym for dancing? What happened to the good old days of ballet and the Macarena? Well, as society gets dumber everyday, our tendencies reflect our actions hence the birth of Twerking (Also auto-tune, Pitbull, hashtags on Facebook and so on), but please if you want the world to take you seriously, don't take the dance seriously and use it as form of self expression on a night out with your friends and not as a form of getting LAID. I personally can Twerk like no one I've seen before guessing it's in my blood because I am Latina, but with great power comes great responsibility, as uncle ben once said, and I know the right time and place to use my powers and so should you.

So basically all I am trying to say here is TWERK LIKE A PRINCESS AND NOT LIKE A DUMB HOE!

Something to chew on ( 08/07/2013)

Album review:
Battle born
Artist: The Killers

Thus being my favorite band making me cry myself to sleep in a fetal position every night and tattooing their lyrics on my fragile body, I can't say that this is my favorite work to date. After working with 5 A-list producers like Daniel Lanois and Brendan O'Brien, The killers have delivered an album that regardless of being strong and cohesive, makes me feel like like I'm cruising around the Vegas strip while having an 80's-Springsteen overdose making me crash into the Mojave desert.

Though quite unique for it's day and age and packed with strong lyrics, The Killers left the simplicity of their 2004 hit single "Mr. Brightside" and embarked on a new journey of massive production. With a stadium rock feel and a power that hits you like a raging bull or their famous "Bolt" that might be a little hard to swallow all at once. Personally liking more simple and soft yet edgy melodies like "For reasons unknown" off their second album "Sam's Town" or their very popular "Jenny was a friend of mine" from their first album "Hot Fuss"  and their so called "murder trilogy" This album left me with a little bit of a Synth overload.

But I am no one to blame the foursome for wanting to make something much different than what we usually hear from them. With a much mature sound and an older audience of course, that has grown with them in the last 10 years, TK outdid themselves but might have gone a little overboard making them sound like they were trying too hard on their 4th studio album. Very much similar though to "Hot Fuss" with it's strong synth and upbeat melodies, It is a little bit more softer and literal with it's lyrics yet the power chords and rave-like beats (which are sometimes a little too much) take it to a completely different level. Could it be that their 4 year hiatus left them a little dry hence the fact that it took them longer than any of their previous albums to make, or the before mentioned fact that they used 5 different producers, that is giving them a sound of overproduced greatness. The answer is not certain but regardless of their melodic makeover, It is still one hell of a record!

With songs like "Runaways" where Brandon Flowers's voice will knock you right off your feet being bigger, better and louder than ever or "Here with me" their first and only ballad, this record will blow your brains out as it hits you  with guitarist Dave Keuning's Robert Plant-like chords. While the  song "Miss atomic bomb" softens up my inexistent heart reminding me of my ex, songs like "Battle Born" and "Flesh and bone" will make you want to be greater than life as you raise your fist chanting their powerful lyrics in the middle of a giant crowd (similar to the effects of "All these things that I've done"). "From here on out" will leave you shock and asking when did The Killers go country? and "Heart of a girl" similar to Dire straits "Romeo and Juliet" will make you want to find that special someone ASAP!

Regardless of the album not being my favorite and a little hard to swallow like mentioned before, you do warm up to it after a listen or two. You can't blame Brandon, Ronnie, Mark and dave for trying to aspire greatness with this new album. If they wanted to have a greater than life stadium rock sound to them, well they have definitely achieved it! Might it be that just like Mr.Flowers, I believe that "Sam's Town" is the greatest album of the past 20 years and that is holding me back on accepting such change. No matter the circumstance I stand right behind them and give them 4 out of five stars on their new album that has even given them a greater chance of showmanship on their tour and made them sell out wembley with a crowd of 90,000 making me look forward to my 4th Killer's concert next week! So if you haven't heard it then what are you waiting for? It's been out for a year! Enjoy.

Link to full album below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TcFmgnxyJ4c

Urban Outfitters: Why I hate to love you so much!

It's no secret that Urban Outfitters is the quintessential watering hole for pretentious hipsters, but why is it that regardless of knowing their high end prices, ridiculous novelties and overpriced items, we still love to shop here? There is no wrong or right answer, but what I do know  is that they must be doing something right. With over 400 locations around the globe, it's the biggest retail brand in the world. Could it be their customers inferiority complex and need to have everything mustache and cat related what's making them shop compulsively here? hence their massive amount of sales and popularity. Though quite original and "hip" to say the least, UO has been making people want to be cooler than everybody else since the early 70's. Regardless of having some pretty cool shit, beautiful and unique clothes and being able to relate to their shoppers in an "emotional level" as they describe, some of their items are so ridiculous that only a 20 year old with millions of dollars in their bank account would buy them (which I doubt there are many out there). So I took the time to go to my local Urban store and browsed around for a bit in order to prove my point. Though tempted to buy everything and lured by their items like a sirens song and flirt with every guy that I saw (which I do every time I go there) I did not as I am trying this new thing called being a responsible adult. Here are some Items I found at the hipster mecca that like everything else this "Expensive thrift store" as I like too call it, has to offer is overpriced yet charming.

ITEM #1

$18.00

Do you really think Think I need a FLASK that says "fuck my liver" ? Think about it, Im 21 years old, I get shitfaced on a regular basis, I don't need to carry alcohol with me when I am drunk 75% of the time, I even wake up drunk from so many shots on the previous night. Instead of helping me get out of my path to premature alcoholism all you are doing is encouraging it. Shame on you urban outfitters for making me want to look cool in the most negative way possible, and seriously WHO THE FUCK CARRIES A FLASK AROUND! And don't get me started on the price and the waste of money it would be to get this.

ITEM #2

$12.92

Very cute urban, trying to make me spend those 13 dollars I could use on a very much needed new pair of underwear (from Walmart of course) and maybe, just maybe a cup of coffee on a funny ass book with an awesome cat on it. Well you're not getting the best of me because I don't even have a coffee table to put this shit on! But if money grew on trees, I would buy it regardless of the fact that I don't have that coffee table where everyone would see it.

ITEM #3

$14.00

Where do I even start with this? Similar to the antiques found in your grandmothers china cabinet, this beautiful blue unicorn has absolutely NOTHING to offer, except maybe a cool story about how you obtained it and showing off to your friends because your home decor is so "unique".

ITEM #4

$18.00

Similar to an art project my 3 year old sister would do at daycare, this playful baggie has absolutely nothing and everything to offer all at the same time. Made in a sweatshop somewhere in china for only 20 cents, you will be paying so much more than what it's worth! So if you want to go out and get everyones attention (most likely the wrong attention)and spend 90 times it's worth with money you don't have, go right ahead and buy this lovely goodie!

ITEM #5

$20.00

I am very well aware of the fact of how idiotic this looks, and how I will most likely never wear it, but the cuteness and "originality" is unbearable. On the other hand I could conjure up a slutty cat costume for this coming Halloween.

ITEM #5

$15.00

What adult on their right mind would wear this? We get it, a regular watch is too "Mainstream" for you, but this is just a little bit too much.

ITEM #7

(PERSONAL FAVORITE)

$20.00

If your inner "Too kool 4 skool" self has not gotten the best of you yet, well I got just the perfect thing for it, A JAR OF DIRT! Yes ladies and gentleman, instead of using those 20 dollars you could spend paying off this month's cellphone bill, go straight ahead and and buy this magnificent creation. A glass jar equipped with a Ziploc baggie full of dirt (YES,REAL DIRT!) and plastic figurines you could get for 25 cents at your local toy vending machine, This item is sure to NOT make your life any less miserable than it already is. So if your pretentious self wants show off it's creative side then this is just what you've been looking for.

Without trying to bash Urban Outfitters and more like trying to make you conscious of your selfless stupidity as you try to be cool with some ironic humor, think twice before you compulsively buy a $50.00 beanie or a useless (but cute) coffee table book in search of your true self. Regardless of their Overpriced crap and useless mustache paraphernalia, UO sales probably the coolest stuff around and I will continue shopping there (and yes you too) regardless of how useless but AWESOME their stuff is hence why I hate to love it so much.

If still interested on wasting your money in a responsible manner  here is their site. STAY COOL! 

http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/urban/index.jsp