Subject of the matter: TWERKING

Being the mating call of horny prepubescent girls, Twerking has swept the globe with it's unique style of showing everyone what a slut you can be while drunk (or not). Though teenage  girls might not understand that their crushes inability to grow facial hair determines the fact of how good they will be in bed, why is it that it's not only them who are embracing Twerking but just about everyone. While the phrase "Dry humping air" does not sound very appealing, well, that is all this so called dance is. A desperate cry to get the opposite (and not so opposite) sex's attention, while looking like a total prostitute all at the same time. 

WHAT I THINK I LOOK LIKE WHILE TWERKING:

WHAT I REALLY LOOK LIKE WHILE TWERKING:

Though the dance has been around since the early 90's, it all blew out of proportion when Miley Cyrus posted that stupid video of herself doing the infamous Twerk in a onesie, yes ONESIE, but why is it that people decide to put themselves in such a ridiculous position (literally)in order to get the wrong attention. I am no one to judge your reasoning, but please if you do decide to prance around like a low class stripper, please make sure you don't do it at family gatherings, Bar Mitzvahs, the old folks home and yes my favorite one SCHOOL. So if you don't want to be on the path of teenage pregnancy or even someones next booty call, I suggest you dont do it at all.

Though fun to do while while drunk with your closest friends and maybe, just maybe while in your room trying to get a good workout, Twerking is not going to make your crush want to marry you instantly, but most likely want to fuck you and never see your face again. Sorry to break it to you, but these are the facts of life, the awful truth to say the least. So if you're doing it to be funny and have a blast with your friends, go ahead and Twerk your ass off, but if  you are trying to get everyones attention and finding ecstasy on being a complete slut and are bombarding the internet with your dry humping vines well then you must be dumb as fuck to not realize where this is going to get you. 

Since when is "shaking your ass in a sexual manner" synonym for dancing? What happened to the good old days of ballet and the Macarena? Well, as society gets dumber everyday, our tendencies reflect our actions hence the birth of Twerking (Also auto-tune, Pitbull, hashtags on Facebook and so on), but please if you want the world to take you seriously, don't take the dance seriously and use it as form of self expression on a night out with your friends and not as a form of getting LAID. I personally can Twerk like no one I've seen before guessing it's in my blood because I am Latina, but with great power comes great responsibility, as uncle ben once said, and I know the right time and place to use my powers and so should you.

So basically all I am trying to say here is TWERK LIKE A PRINCESS AND NOT LIKE A DUMB HOE!